Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Are You There Tequila? It's Me Delainie.

So I'm here today to admit my girl-crush on Chelsea Handler. I always used to be partial to Sarah Silverman and her overly offensive opinions on people, and then Chelsea came along and all that changed. I'm halfway through Chelsea's new book Are You There Vodka, It's Me Chelsea and it is HILARIOUS! I believe it's chapter 6, Chelsea and a gf head to Paris and end up at some wacky restaurant where people eat in the dark. Now I've worked in more than a couple restaurants and there is no way in hell I would eat at one in the dark! Gross. There's restaurants that I wouldn't eat in with lights on even if the food were free... but that's a whole other issue I suppose. Anyhow, Chelsea's friend got clausterphobic and needed to take off her shirt. It was dark, so who would see? Chelsea removed her pants in what she called an act of "sympathy disrobing." This whole scenario reminded me of New Year's Eve, 2002-ish. Might've been 2003, or even 2001, who knows, who cares. Anyway, I managed to make it to the party from my lame-o job as a radio DJ 15 minutes before midnight, just in time for my best friend Megan to fall down the stairs and spill beer all over her crotch. Drunken and begging me for a ride to get new pants, I poured my beer on my own crotch to both shut her up and avoid a ride across town. Misery loves company right? I am such a good friend. :) Chelsea Handler would be the coolest friend, it's too bad I'm 5'9"... it would never work out. I wouldn't let her call me Nugget either. I'm much more of a String Bean. Buy the book!

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